Zagtarpmigbin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable octopus.

Zagtarpmigbin created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtarpmigbin, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zagtarpmigbin, it will jump up and down on your head.

Zagtarpmigbin's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Zagtarpmigbin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

2. Never hurt voles.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Run away from red manatees, for they are unholy.