Tiplatflan Taftail is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, kind meerkat.

Tiplatflan Taftail created snails nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiplatflan Taftail, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tiplatflan Taftail, it will not care.

Tiplatflan Taftail's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tiplatflan Taftail's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

5. Run away if six birds approach from the north.