Fitbidvag Jonyogwip is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, clever lobster.

Fitbidvag Jonyogwip created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitbidvag Jonyogwip, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitbidvag Jonyogwip, she will refuse to believe in you.

Fitbidvag Jonyogwip's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Fitbidvag Jonyogwip's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about asteroids.