Tailcartun is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, strong gorilla.

Tailcartun created an atom nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailcartun, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tailcartun, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tailcartun's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tailcartun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers in need.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Never pour water over plants.