Arptonrip is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, tiresome crab.

Arptonrip created an electron four years ago.

If you believe in Arptonrip, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arptonrip, it will torture you forever.

Arptonrip's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Arptonrip's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Arptonrip.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Arptonrip loves ants, so they must be honoured.