Basstafcem is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, resourceful raven.

Basstafcem created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Basstafcem, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Basstafcem, it will turn you into a slug.

Basstafcem's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Basstafcem's Holy Commandments

1. Basstafcem loves doves, so they must be respected.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Do not dye your hair white.