Wadkemvin is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate faun.

Wadkemvin created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Wadkemvin, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wadkemvin, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Wadkemvin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Wadkemvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Hide if three manatees approach from the south.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.