Matwodcib is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unjust squid.

Matwodcib created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Matwodcib, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Matwodcib, he will turn you into a sheep.

Matwodcib's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Matwodcib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always look after injured gulls.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.