Ratjadnut is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, narcissistic jackal.

Ratjadnut created the universe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratjadnut, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ratjadnut, she will try to impress you with trees.

Ratjadnut's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ratjadnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. You must love Ratjadnut.

5. Never bounce in the presence of bats.