Laphunarm is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet naga.

Laphunarm created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Laphunarm, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Laphunarm, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Laphunarm's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Laphunarm's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Laphunarm.

2. You must pray to Laphunarm five times a day.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.