Rakhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, two-faced duck.

Rakhiv created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakhiv, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rakhiv, he will come to you in dreams.

Rakhiv's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Rakhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always look after injured squirrels.