Kopmidzak is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sapient crocodile.

Kopmidzak created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopmidzak, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kopmidzak, he will turn you into a frog.

Kopmidzak's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kopmidzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.