Tailbarnflag is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, narcissistic shrew.

Tailbarnflag created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Tailbarnflag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tailbarnflag, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tailbarnflag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tailbarnflag's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.