Dagvilyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, compassionate cobra.

Dagvilyarl created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagvilyarl, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dagvilyarl, she will boil you in a big pot.

Dagvilyarl's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Dagvilyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

5. Never sit in holy places.