Hogarmlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, prudent mole.

Hogarmlarp created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Hogarmlarp, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hogarmlarp, he will not care at all.

Hogarmlarp's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Hogarmlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Worship no other gods but Hogarmlarp.

5. Never think ill of sick moths.