Flaphivquart is a god.

He takes the form of a large, self-assured hamster.

Flaphivquart created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flaphivquart, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flaphivquart, he will strike you with lightening.

Flaphivquart's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Flaphivquart's Holy Commandments

1. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never hurt snails.

3. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not kill seals.