Hotmid is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hotmid created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotmid, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hotmid, he will turn you into a dog.

Hotmid's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Hotmid's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hotmid.