Stafmapmid is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, blissful gorilla.

Stafmapmid created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Stafmapmid, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Stafmapmid, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Stafmapmid's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Stafmapmid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.