Soggonbot is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying turtle.

Soggonbot created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Soggonbot, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Soggonbot, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Soggonbot's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Soggonbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green dresses.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always obey Soggonbot's priests.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Retreat if five rats approach from the east.