Limtamfum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, staggering spider.

Limtamfum created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Limtamfum, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Limtamfum, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Limtamfum's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Limtamfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Great tits are not to be trusted.

3. Never feed rice to pigs while wearing fawn scarves.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.