Dagsagtighit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, egotistical shrew.

Dagsagtighit created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagsagtighit, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dagsagtighit, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dagsagtighit's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Dagsagtighit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Always obey Dagsagtighit's priests.

3. Never wear gray jumpers.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.