Cussarfcad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic wren.

Cussarfcad created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cussarfcad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cussarfcad, he will turn you into a rat.

Cussarfcad's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cussarfcad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta mice, for they are unholy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never wear white shorts.