Bonkpigsan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, generous warg.

Bonkpigsan created the Tadpole Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkpigsan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bonkpigsan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bonkpigsan's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bonkpigsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt squirrels.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Feed all hungry monkeys.

4. Erect six nickel sculptures of Bonkpigsan on top of important buildings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bonkpigsan.