Flabflatjad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, irritating crane.

Flabflatjad created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabflatjad, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flabflatjad, it will ignore you.

Flabflatjad's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Flabflatjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Do not eat wheat.

3. Never sing near gulls.

4. Always obey Flabflatjad's priests.

5. Do not drink alcohol.