Futbonweg Figpogfeb Dabbonkkin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, grumpy alligator.

Futbonweg Figpogfeb Dabbonkkin created silver four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futbonweg Figpogfeb Dabbonkkin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Futbonweg Figpogfeb Dabbonkkin, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Futbonweg Figpogfeb Dabbonkkin's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Futbonweg Figpogfeb Dabbonkkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Never think ill of sick ducks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.