Bidpadnad is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, uncaring cow.

Bidpadnad created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidpadnad, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bidpadnad, it will turn you into a worm.

Bidpadnad's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bidpadnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Never bounce in the presence of nematodes.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never hurt sheep.

5. Retreat if eight porpoises approach from the west.