Pandonhub is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy aardvark.

Pandonhub created the Tadpole Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pandonhub, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pandonhub, it will turn you into a tree.

Pandonhub's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Pandonhub's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near gulls.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. You must never eat figs.