Jiphitbif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, compassionate gerbil.

Jiphitbif created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jiphitbif, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jiphitbif, she will curse you with boils.

Jiphitbif's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Jiphitbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always look after injured manatees.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Always help sick voles.