Goftofarn is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish dryad.

Goftofarn created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Goftofarn, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Goftofarn, he will turn you into a plant.

Goftofarn's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Goftofarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

5. Do not take Goftofarn's name in vain.