Yattbethak is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omniscient shark.

Yattbethak created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattbethak, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yattbethak, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yattbethak's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Yattbethak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Erect nine gold sculptures of Yattbethak on top of important buildings.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.