Monquillboss is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, selfish meerkat.

Monquillboss created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Monquillboss, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Monquillboss, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Monquillboss' most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Monquillboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think ill of sick ants.

4. Monquillboss must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never pour water over plants.