Lopxinquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, deceitful horse.

Lopxinquaf created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lopxinquaf, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lopxinquaf, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Lopxinquaf's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Lopxinquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not commit murder.