Bapnakced is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, wise donkey.

Bapnakced created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapnakced, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bapnakced, it will jump up and down on your head.

Bapnakced's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bapnakced's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Hide if six gulls approach from the east.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.