Narlkinfas is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, humane faun.

Narlkinfas created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Narlkinfas, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Narlkinfas, it will be very unhappy.

Narlkinfas' most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Narlkinfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tortoises.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. Do not take Narlkinfas' name in vain.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.