Zakdudnil is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident naga.

Zakdudnil created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakdudnil, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zakdudnil, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Zakdudnil's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Zakdudnil's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five capybaras approach from the south.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never talk about doves.