Ominzogomin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, egotistical meerkat.

Ominzogomin created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominzogomin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ominzogomin, he will turn you into a rat.

Ominzogomin's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Ominzogomin's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Never talk about tapirs.