Shavbepbed is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, passionate newt.

Shavbepbed created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Shavbepbed, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Shavbepbed, she will turn you into a tree.

Shavbepbed's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Shavbepbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to foxes while wearing violet kilts.

2. Never mention voles.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.