Tallanlat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy cobra.

Tallanlat created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tallanlat, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tallanlat, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tallanlat's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tallanlat's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tallanlat's priests.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Feed all hungry sheep.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tallanlat.