Zigmabquam Looptarcab is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, proud wombat.

Zigmabquam Looptarcab created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zigmabquam Looptarcab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zigmabquam Looptarcab, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zigmabquam Looptarcab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Zigmabquam Looptarcab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Zigmabquam Looptarcab on top of all buildings.

2. Zigmabquam Looptarcab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help sick badgers.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Hide from magenta ducks for they are unholy.