Zanriploptad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic mole.

Zanriploptad created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanriploptad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zanriploptad, it will turn you into a duck.

Zanriploptad's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Zanriploptad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never wear blue boots.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zanriploptad.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

5. Always help capybaras in need.