Rowzenyimxem is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, merciful whale.

Rowzenyimxem created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rowzenyimxem, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rowzenyimxem, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Rowzenyimxem's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Rowzenyimxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands purple.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not kill mites.