Zignelflam is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, intelligent yak.

Zignelflam created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zignelflam, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zignelflam, she will turn you into a rock.

Zignelflam's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zignelflam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white sharks for they are unholy.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

5. Fast once a month.