Monvonkhan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, prudent crocodile.

Monvonkhan created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monvonkhan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Monvonkhan, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Monvonkhan's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Monvonkhan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help seals in need.

4. Never eat nuts.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.