Bonomtbop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, smart crab.

Bonomtbop created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonomtbop, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bonomtbop, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bonomtbop's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bonomtbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always pray immersed in water.