Yattcamyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered slug.

Yattcamyatt created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattcamyatt, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yattcamyatt, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yattcamyatt's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Yattcamyatt's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Worship no other gods but Yattcamyatt.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Hide from gray geese for they are unholy.