Cinhigpaknan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unthinking snail.

Cinhigpaknan created the Large Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinhigpaknan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cinhigpaknan, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cinhigpaknan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cinhigpaknan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.