Yarnarlbud is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, omniscient tortoise.

Yarnarlbud created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarnarlbud, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yarnarlbud, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Yarnarlbud's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Yarnarlbud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink alcohol.