Ham Femfebmat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient snake.

Ham Femfebmat created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ham Femfebmat, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ham Femfebmat, it will be very sad.

Ham Femfebmat's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ham Femfebmat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ham Femfebmat.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Do not take Ham Femfebmat's name in vain.

4. Never eat carrots.

5. Do not listen to music.