Latfligquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless elephant.

Latfligquaf created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Latfligquaf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Latfligquaf, she will not care.

Latfligquaf's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Latfligquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always obey Latfligquaf's priests.

5. Always look after injured monkeys.