Vantagtarg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, prudent squirrel.

Vantagtarg created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vantagtarg, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vantagtarg, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vantagtarg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vantagtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt moths.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vantagtarg.